Your booking for this upcoming Sacrifice.
Dear Miss. Tan,
With regards your recent match up with with Kash and Dobbs in RW, the board would like to extend its condolences to you for the way you performed in the match, we are not to pleased on the outcome. Unfortunately our estimations of you were misplaced. Clearly you have the appropriate calibre for Rampage Wresting. We thank you for your candour in addressing this in your pre-match interview with Deluchie. We would like to offer you an improved contract on the one negotiated last week. You are now to be contracted as a provisional under card talent.
Although we feel you are currently of inadequate quality for a spot higher than this, we are open to suggestion and would encourage you to approach each match with the intensity you did the last.This week you are booked against Evie and Sin in a triple threat match. We ask that you keep up the good work, and put on a great show for the folks at home. You’ll be on a card that will feature the debut of the U.S title and main event that will feature the World Champion. Try and warm the fans up with a fair bit of violence.
Naturally, we expect you to put on a good show and expose the great talents these rookies on display in the ring.
Yours faithfully,
- The RW Board of Directors
PS. If you could avoid being quite so cutting in your promos, it would be appreciated. While it makes you look good, the implication that the company is poorly run is a bad one which we’d like to avoid. There's is small raise in your paid in it for you if you can cool your jets.
Anna Tan: Cool my jets? Small raise? Johnson, do me a favour. Go zap a potato in the microwave. Actually scratch that. Stuff it full of cheese and put it in the oven. One of the greatest snacks ever right there.
Johnson: Yes, yes eh right away, ah.
Anna Tan: Nice one. So, onto business. While a potato is sat boiling in the oven, thoughts are starting to cook in my head. What can I possibly say in response to such a letter? Where the Hell do I begin? I will go from the top. First of all, I find it damn hilarious that you changed your stance of me as a result of my match. Do you really think that match was a true indication of what I have inside me? Do you really, honestly think that you just saw the best of Anna Tan? Inadequate quality? Do I not use enough internet memes and Pokemon in my speeches? Is my lighting not dark enough? Are you expecting another typically promo? Jesus. This place needs a final solution already.
Inexplicably, a Malteser rolls across the desk, falling and landing squarely in Anna Tan's palm. Swiftly, she eats it, eyebrows furrowed all the while.
Anna Tan: So the under card beckons once again, eh?
Anna Tan holds the letter up to the camera, then swiftly tears it in half, screwing up both halves and throwing them over each shoulder.
Anna Tan: If this proposed match wasn't so enticing, I would tell you where to shove your under card. As for cooling my jets, and not mentioning yourselves, well, just a thought here, but if you don’t want me talking about you, don’t send your correspondence via courier flanked by camera crew? Do you see why that might be the cause of all this? Once again, you delight me with your ineptitude. Speaking of which, why is this guy still hanging around?
Cameras pan sideways, to a rather dishevelled, bearded man standing with his left arm rested against the wall. He’s holding a red clipboard, and has a pen resting behind his ear. His face has a look of impatience, with a dash of uncertainty.
Anna Tan: Son, why are you standing there? You've given me my mail, and Johnson has signed your paperwork on my behalf. If you are standing around after a signature, you are whistling the wrong tune, because I don’t do fan treatment. In fact, I don’t do fans at all.
Courier: Uhh, I was just waiting for a tip.
Anna Tan: Oh, a tip? Here’s a tip, learn to shave, you look a ****ing state.
Courier: No, I mean a tip for delivering your mail on time. The usual rate is 10%.
Anna Tan: You mean to tell me, that you were paid to deliver a letter to me, and now you stand in front of me, expecting me to pay you for delivering it? What is this culture of tipping all about? Should I throw dollars at the guy sweeping the street? How about I go one better. Shall I catch a plane, fly to Africa, and give every slave worker there a cent each as 10% of the trainers I bought yesterday? Should I march to Draven Smith’s office after each match and demand an extra 10% on top of my salary just for turning up?
Courier: Look dudette, I-
Anna Tan: Dudette? Are we in the 90’s? Are you a stoner stereotype? A surfer stereotype? You’re dressed like **** so my guess is the former not the latter.
Courier: Yeah I toke, what about it?
Courier: Uhh, I have to receive my tip first.
Courier: Look woman, I am just doing my job…
Calmly, Anna Tan gets to her feet, and walks towards the courier. She wraps her arm around the man’s shoulders, as if she were comforting a friend.
Anna Tan: **tch, you were warned, you did this to yourself.
Did wha-
Anna Tan starts to lead the man out of the room, and across a pastel red hued corridor, which is lined with identical looking white doors. The man starts to trip as his feet drag under him, scuffing roughly along the red carpet. The more he tries to gain his footing, the faster and rougher Anna Tan drags him. Suddenly, she stops at a different coloured door. This one is a pale blue colour, a few shades above the gross sky blue colour Man City play in. She brushes the door open with her elbow, and as the door swings open, we see that the man is being dragged into a bathroom. With a sudden change of force, Anna Tan throws the courier headfirst into a urinal. The urinal cracks at the top, and Anna Tan throws her arms up in the air, as if to blame the courier for causing more problems in his day. The courier is, though, completely unconscious now, face down in the urinal. Anna Tan pulls the man’s head to one side, so he is slumped resting with his right cheek in the urinal. The camera zooms in, just as Anna Tan stuffs the man’s mouth full of used urinal cakes. A line of blood starts to trickle from the courier’s forehead, and soon snakes downwards into the urinal, creating a mixture of blood and water at its base. The camera zooms out, and watches briefly as Anna Tan washes her hands in the adjacent sink. Whilst wringing her hands under the tap, she begins talking again.
Anna Tan: You may imagine that what you just saw was some kind of allegory, an example of what I will do to Sin. Apart from anything, I don’t think urinals are legal same as Sin's little gasoline/fire trick shit.
She grins, and turns the tap off, waving her hands in the sink to relieve them of water.
Anna Tan: Ahh, a triple threat match. This is quite literally my second match in this company, and I have already made a statement. But whilst I am not high enough on the card for my liking, but oh well right?
She makes her way across the room, and holds up a finger to say ‘just a moment’, as she starts to use the hand-drying machine, which roars loudly. The camera pans away, reducing the noise pollution, and focuses again on the prone courier. He is still completely unconscious, and the trickle of blood from his temple has subsided. A thin layer of coagulated blood decorates the hole at the basin of the urinal, and a thin layer vibrates with each breath the courier breathes.
Anna Tan: Of course…
The hand drier has subsided, and Anna Tan is speaking out of shot. The cameraman quickly spins around, just as Anna Tan opens the blue door and exits the room.
Anna Tan: …what I just did to that young man was merely an Hors d'oeuvre. I could quite easily have taken him apart limb by limb, but as you saw, it took minimal effort to neutralise him. I am not the kind of character who enjoys praying on the weak, and as you clearly saw, I only do so under sufficient provocation. No, my pleasure doesn’t come from appetisers. I enjoy devouring the main course – those of you who caught my story time post earlier may misinterpret that metaphor – no, I don’t want to eat other wrestlers. The metaphor is much vaguer than that. I simply mean that I get pleasure from breaking down the best, the ‘baddest’ and the strongest opponents. There is great pleasure to be found in that kind of renown. I think it was Jimi Hendrix who sung the line ‘well I stand up next to mountains, and I chop them down with the edge of my hand’. That is the sentiment I am putting across to you here.
Now at the door to her office – which stands out as brown and skinny, with a professional looking sheen over its surface, Anna Tan walks through it and back into her office. The door shuts quickly behind him, and the camera man stumbles trying to catch it before it closes completely. He succeeds in reaching it in time, but the camera is knocked out of his hands, hanging fortunately on a strap over the cameraman’s shoulder. Through the upside down, backwards camera shot, Anna Tan ’s PA Paul Johnson walks calmly towards us, in his hands a plate adorned with a large baked potato, stuffed to the brim with cheese. Paul pushes the door right open, and the cameraman rights himself. The feed is now focused on Paul placing the baked potato on Anna Tan's desk.
Paul Johnson: Eh, here you are Miss. Tan. Oh, I uh, also fried a tomato for you. It was in the back of the fridge.
From behind his back, Paul produces a fried tomato on a small plate. Anna Tan’s face wrinkles up in disgust.
Anna Tan: A fried tomato? It’s a toss up between eating that and licking piss off nettles. Actually, that gives me an idea. Paul, please take that tomato to the bathroom, there is a gentleman sleeping in the urinal. I’d appreciate it if you used your best throwing arm and make sure that tomato makes contact with his face. Should it fail to splatter, I’d like you to personally squeeze it on the man’s face.
Paul Johnson: I, what, I couldn’t possibly…
Anna Tan: Well, I could always tell Mrs Bishop about your secret drawer instead.
Paul Johnson: Umm, I will dispose of the tomato right away, ah, just as you suggested, a grand idea I should say.
Anna Tan: Good, run along.
Paul disappears, and Anna Tan starts to tuck into the jacket potato, occasionally looking up to speak to the camera.
Anna Tan: Yes…potatoes are good. This is one thing I will not debate with management here. But let’s stop going around in circles here, I think it’s high time I address my opponents. Because I am a fair woman, I am not going to examine your history. I imagine you are not in the Kash or Dobbs talent bracket but oh well.
Anna Tan pauses before speaking
Anna Tan: Oh My God Sin I love the way you talk dirty to me. I love how you say your going to break me. It just turns me on besides your chest your kinky words get my blood boiling. Mmmmh Sin I cant wait to get in the ring with you let's hurt each other badly, let's scar up each other's bodies. I just can't wait to break you down into a better woman. Just the thought of your body and my body touching each other.
Anna Tan rubs on her body in a sexual manner.
Anna Tan: Maybe after I tap your ass in that ring, we could go back to my place an have some fun. Maybe we can beat the hell out of each other some more. Oh Sin please be rough with me in that ring and I promise I will end this match with you barely breathing or able to walk. But the fact you compared me to a fly is a little harsh right? Did I do something to make you mad? Did you already see the future of me in latex with a whip in my hand and high heel taming you in the ring in a sexual manner? Maybe you did; maybe you saw you had no chance in the ring and you wanted to come up with a comment that would make me mad am I right?
Anna Tan begins to lick her lips.
Anna Tan: But the comment you made about my mind being on the U.S title instead of you is something that left me a little confused. Why would my mind be on the U.S title match when it will be on your chest and your ass in the match.
Anna Tan begins to laugh and slaps her knee.
Anna Tan: Oh Sin I just can't wait to tap dat ass of yours and watch as I lay on top of that bruise up body of yours for the three count. That was a good try with that 7 hour promo you drop. But let's be honest you can't beat me even if it was my worst day. But back to your 7 hour promo I was perplexed by your promo. It seemed you were struggling to think of something to talk about. So basically you was wasting everyone's time and RW programming money airing that breathless promo. Good Game Sin for making this so easy. Don't forget to bring those breast of yours and that ass to my room when I win this match oh ok?
Anna Tan looking down at the plate, taking small mouthfuls and looking thoughtful. A few moments later, her eyes rise again and fix themselves on the camera.
Anna Tan: **tch, you were warned, you did this to yourself.
Did wha-
Anna Tan starts to lead the man out of the room, and across a pastel red hued corridor, which is lined with identical looking white doors. The man starts to trip as his feet drag under him, scuffing roughly along the red carpet. The more he tries to gain his footing, the faster and rougher Anna Tan drags him. Suddenly, she stops at a different coloured door. This one is a pale blue colour, a few shades above the gross sky blue colour Man City play in. She brushes the door open with her elbow, and as the door swings open, we see that the man is being dragged into a bathroom. With a sudden change of force, Anna Tan throws the courier headfirst into a urinal. The urinal cracks at the top, and Anna Tan throws her arms up in the air, as if to blame the courier for causing more problems in his day. The courier is, though, completely unconscious now, face down in the urinal. Anna Tan pulls the man’s head to one side, so he is slumped resting with his right cheek in the urinal. The camera zooms in, just as Anna Tan stuffs the man’s mouth full of used urinal cakes. A line of blood starts to trickle from the courier’s forehead, and soon snakes downwards into the urinal, creating a mixture of blood and water at its base. The camera zooms out, and watches briefly as Anna Tan washes her hands in the adjacent sink. Whilst wringing her hands under the tap, she begins talking again.
Anna Tan: You may imagine that what you just saw was some kind of allegory, an example of what I will do to Sin. Apart from anything, I don’t think urinals are legal same as Sin's little gasoline/fire trick shit.
She grins, and turns the tap off, waving her hands in the sink to relieve them of water.
Anna Tan: Ahh, a triple threat match. This is quite literally my second match in this company, and I have already made a statement. But whilst I am not high enough on the card for my liking, but oh well right?
She makes her way across the room, and holds up a finger to say ‘just a moment’, as she starts to use the hand-drying machine, which roars loudly. The camera pans away, reducing the noise pollution, and focuses again on the prone courier. He is still completely unconscious, and the trickle of blood from his temple has subsided. A thin layer of coagulated blood decorates the hole at the basin of the urinal, and a thin layer vibrates with each breath the courier breathes.
Anna Tan: Of course…
The hand drier has subsided, and Anna Tan is speaking out of shot. The cameraman quickly spins around, just as Anna Tan opens the blue door and exits the room.
Anna Tan: …what I just did to that young man was merely an Hors d'oeuvre. I could quite easily have taken him apart limb by limb, but as you saw, it took minimal effort to neutralise him. I am not the kind of character who enjoys praying on the weak, and as you clearly saw, I only do so under sufficient provocation. No, my pleasure doesn’t come from appetisers. I enjoy devouring the main course – those of you who caught my story time post earlier may misinterpret that metaphor – no, I don’t want to eat other wrestlers. The metaphor is much vaguer than that. I simply mean that I get pleasure from breaking down the best, the ‘baddest’ and the strongest opponents. There is great pleasure to be found in that kind of renown. I think it was Jimi Hendrix who sung the line ‘well I stand up next to mountains, and I chop them down with the edge of my hand’. That is the sentiment I am putting across to you here.
Now at the door to her office – which stands out as brown and skinny, with a professional looking sheen over its surface, Anna Tan walks through it and back into her office. The door shuts quickly behind him, and the camera man stumbles trying to catch it before it closes completely. He succeeds in reaching it in time, but the camera is knocked out of his hands, hanging fortunately on a strap over the cameraman’s shoulder. Through the upside down, backwards camera shot, Anna Tan ’s PA Paul Johnson walks calmly towards us, in his hands a plate adorned with a large baked potato, stuffed to the brim with cheese. Paul pushes the door right open, and the cameraman rights himself. The feed is now focused on Paul placing the baked potato on Anna Tan's desk.
Paul Johnson: Eh, here you are Miss. Tan. Oh, I uh, also fried a tomato for you. It was in the back of the fridge.
From behind his back, Paul produces a fried tomato on a small plate. Anna Tan’s face wrinkles up in disgust.
Anna Tan: A fried tomato? It’s a toss up between eating that and licking piss off nettles. Actually, that gives me an idea. Paul, please take that tomato to the bathroom, there is a gentleman sleeping in the urinal. I’d appreciate it if you used your best throwing arm and make sure that tomato makes contact with his face. Should it fail to splatter, I’d like you to personally squeeze it on the man’s face.
Paul Johnson: I, what, I couldn’t possibly…
Anna Tan: Well, I could always tell Mrs Bishop about your secret drawer instead.
Paul Johnson: Umm, I will dispose of the tomato right away, ah, just as you suggested, a grand idea I should say.
Anna Tan: Good, run along.
Paul disappears, and Anna Tan starts to tuck into the jacket potato, occasionally looking up to speak to the camera.
Anna Tan: Yes…potatoes are good. This is one thing I will not debate with management here. But let’s stop going around in circles here, I think it’s high time I address my opponents. Because I am a fair woman, I am not going to examine your history. I imagine you are not in the Kash or Dobbs talent bracket but oh well.
Anna Tan pauses before speaking
Anna Tan: Oh My God Sin I love the way you talk dirty to me. I love how you say your going to break me. It just turns me on besides your chest your kinky words get my blood boiling. Mmmmh Sin I cant wait to get in the ring with you let's hurt each other badly, let's scar up each other's bodies. I just can't wait to break you down into a better woman. Just the thought of your body and my body touching each other.
Anna Tan rubs on her body in a sexual manner.
Anna Tan: Maybe after I tap your ass in that ring, we could go back to my place an have some fun. Maybe we can beat the hell out of each other some more. Oh Sin please be rough with me in that ring and I promise I will end this match with you barely breathing or able to walk. But the fact you compared me to a fly is a little harsh right? Did I do something to make you mad? Did you already see the future of me in latex with a whip in my hand and high heel taming you in the ring in a sexual manner? Maybe you did; maybe you saw you had no chance in the ring and you wanted to come up with a comment that would make me mad am I right?
Anna Tan begins to lick her lips.
Anna Tan: But the comment you made about my mind being on the U.S title instead of you is something that left me a little confused. Why would my mind be on the U.S title match when it will be on your chest and your ass in the match.
Anna Tan begins to laugh and slaps her knee.
Anna Tan: Oh Sin I just can't wait to tap dat ass of yours and watch as I lay on top of that bruise up body of yours for the three count. That was a good try with that 7 hour promo you drop. But let's be honest you can't beat me even if it was my worst day. But back to your 7 hour promo I was perplexed by your promo. It seemed you were struggling to think of something to talk about. So basically you was wasting everyone's time and RW programming money airing that breathless promo. Good Game Sin for making this so easy. Don't forget to bring those breast of yours and that ass to my room when I win this match oh ok?
Anna Tan looking down at the plate, taking small mouthfuls and looking thoughtful. A few moments later, her eyes rise again and fix themselves on the camera.
Anna Tan: So now we get to Evie the shy and innocent; Oh I love breaking in chicks like you after a while you fight and pretend you don't like it after a while you start to enjoy. Oh it seems I went off topic. While it is not my fault just the thought of this triple threat turns me on. Just the thought of me destroying both of you just makes me so hot. But let me get go back to what I was saying before.
Anna Tan wipes her brow, then pinches the bridge of her nose as if she’s de-stressing herself after bad news.
Anna Tan wipes her brow, then pinches the bridge of her nose as if she’s de-stressing herself after bad news.
Anna Tan: It is irrelevant whatever you come with in your promo, no matter what lighting you have, it don't what matter what you do in your promo or say it what change a thing at all. You could dance with vanilla ice in your promo it won't do a damn thing. It doesn't matter if you come to my house and smell my panties and masturbate while thinking about me what change anything.
Anna Tan begins to laugh to herself.
Anna Tan: I made a funny again. Both of you makes this too easy for me to win this match. The thought me thinking this was going to be a challenge. The thought of me really thinking this was going to be a triple threat match to see. But you both prove me wrong.
Anna Tan leans back into her chair, with a relaxed smile.
Anna Tan: Good Game both of you for your poor line of attacks. Lastly make sure both of you come back to my room for a three's company. That's if the both of you will be able to make it out of the ring or even breathing.
A look of irritation crosses her face, and he waves her hands dismissively at the cameraman.
Anna Tan begins to laugh to herself.
Anna Tan: I made a funny again. Both of you makes this too easy for me to win this match. The thought me thinking this was going to be a challenge. The thought of me really thinking this was going to be a triple threat match to see. But you both prove me wrong.
Anna Tan leans back into her chair, with a relaxed smile.
Anna Tan: Good Game both of you for your poor line of attacks. Lastly make sure both of you come back to my room for a three's company. That's if the both of you will be able to make it out of the ring or even breathing.
A look of irritation crosses her face, and he waves her hands dismissively at the cameraman.
Anna Tan: Bah, I grow tired of this. Be gone now. Actually, make sure you get a shot of that courier first though.
Obediently, the camera turns away from Anna Tan, making its way towards the bathroom. In the corridor, Johnson is pacing up and down, shaking his head and muttering something about ‘bats on the wing’. The cameraman quickly sails past him, though, and into the bathroom. Inside, the courier is gone, but the camera zooms in on the urinal where he was lying. His clipboard lies beneath it, and is stained by a strange mix of urine, blood and tomato juice, as is the urinal itself, which occasionally drips red. The shot slowly fades out, and as it does we faintly hear a distant groan from a locked cubicle…
Obediently, the camera turns away from Anna Tan, making its way towards the bathroom. In the corridor, Johnson is pacing up and down, shaking his head and muttering something about ‘bats on the wing’. The cameraman quickly sails past him, though, and into the bathroom. Inside, the courier is gone, but the camera zooms in on the urinal where he was lying. His clipboard lies beneath it, and is stained by a strange mix of urine, blood and tomato juice, as is the urinal itself, which occasionally drips red. The shot slowly fades out, and as it does we faintly hear a distant groan from a locked cubicle…
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